It's 2.25 am

That used to be not THAT late by my standards, especially during study break and all, but since the hols i've been sleeping relatively early, so i would say it's pretty late for me right now. However, i am in a contemplate-ish mood, and this is a completely impromptu and random post, so bear with me.

To be honest, I HATE blogging. Expressing my thoughts, views and i suppose to a certain extent, life on a public platform just feels so self-indulgent and narcissistic, and i do think i'm bad enough as it is. Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against bloggers or people who blog. In fact, i've now come to realise that it really isn't easy at all writing a blog, so their ability to do so is admirable. I just feel awkward writing a blog. Yeah, i do know i've only written one post which was all of er, 4-5 lines? So, how could i possibly draw such a strong conclusion, "I HATE blogging", so soon you ask? Well, I've been trying, seriously, but it just isn't working.

In addition, i haven't been writing, well, stuff, or at least things that focus more on the flow or writing style rather than just content, in ages. The last time i probably did so was in school, and that was years ago, so it is highly likely i'm more than a little rusty. But i really did love writing in school, and i was pretty good at it! (Haha, i did say i was narcissistic enough already.) But seriously, when i re-read my old work, i do think some of the stuff i wrote back then really wasn't bad at all.

I loved english, and i still do, so it really is quite sad that i never continued writing. And yes, i do realise i am 'expressing' myself now, but this is just ranting, which is different, trust me. Still, i do hope that if i rant enough about how much i hate blogging, i'll get it out of my system and come to love blogging or at least tolerate being able to do it. Reverse psychology, self-imposed :) Afterall, this blog is suppose to mark a new-ish beginning, so i just need to pull myself out of this hating-blog-writing funk. If all else, at least i will improve my writing and english (hopefully!)